How to Not Get Beat Up By a Bully

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You wake up, go to school or work, and next thing you know, a bunch of stuck-up bullies shove you around like a ball. If you decide to act like a tough guy and a fight is imminent, here’s how to back down your opponent.

Steps

1. Get in a threatening stance—not too overbearing, or you’ll look stupid; you don’t want that because there will most likely be others watching.
2. Say something that might make your opponent think that you’re not worth it, such as “What do you want?” or “I don’t want to fight you.” If they don’t seem to listen, be prepared to defend yourself.
3. Speak up to intimidate the bully. Don’t be timid or whiny. Practice speaking firmly, loudly, and with assurance. If you can’t shake the bully, you might be able to convince the people watching, and bullies lose a lot of power when the people watching question his or her superiority.
4. Make eye contact. Don’t shift your gaze down, look around or cry. Look straight at them or—if it’s too difficult—focus on their eyebrows. To look away is to invite a nasty sucker punch that can lay you out flat and vulnerable.
5. Change the subject. The only thing that will discharge and redirect the tension that’s feeding a potential fight is if you learn how to change the subject to something else, whether it’s by cracking a non-threatening joke or, better yet, asking a question. It’s better if the topic you’re shifting to is somehow relevant to your interactions with this person, because if it’s too obvious that you’re changing the subject, it’ll be ignored and the tension will continue to develop.
6. Know how to defend yourself and be prepared to let the bully know. Hopefully, if you’ve been threatened or harassed repeatedly by this person, you’ve sought to learn self-defense skills. If you haven’t, consider lying and saying with a strong but calm voice: “Listen, I’ve been taking karate for a year; I don’t think this is a good idea.” Then walk away, but watch your back!
7. Don’t recommend lying about your non existent prowess! That’s an invitation to fight for any bully. Let them find out the hard painful way by keeping what you know a secret. Sometimes, the unknown is just enough to shake a bully’s confidence. Maybe just enough.
8. Brace yourself. If you are forced into a confrontation and feel that a fight is going to happen as a last resort there are several things you can do to protect yourself.
   • Hands up by your face, as if you are talking with your hands, this protects against a sucker-punch, or an unprovoked punch by the bully. Also, tighten your stomach in case he tries to punch you there.
   • Turn a little sideways so your body is not as big a target.
9. Watch your back. Bullies usually have a following. Like the mouse and the lion, you are now fighting for your life. Accordingly, the only rule is to survive by doing whatever it takes to put him down with you walking away.

Tips

• If you are getting picked on by a bully, they probably are bigger and stronger than you. They probably have more fighting experience or possibly were even abused. Therefore, you should try not to fight them.
• Bullies do not have low self-esteem; repeated studies have shown that in fact, they usually have high self-esteem, are confident and self-posessed. They bully because they can and they target those with low self-esteem and/or weaker social skills. Acting confident certainly helps. *Bullies have low self-esteem and are opportunists. They prey on the weaker, smaller and quieter. So try not to be alone and act confident even if you aren’t.
• Know your bully and what his intentions are. Is he looking for a cheap laugh or does he want to see you hurt? If he wants a cheap laugh, odds are he is no better than you as a fighter. But if he constantly tries to push for conflict, make sure your guard is up, because he must know what he is doing to be so confident.
• Don’t strike at his crotch. He can pivot and block your strike very easily. A kick towards the knee is more effective, since it can’t be blocked, only avoided. This will give you room and time to escape and get somewhere safe, or at least more strategically advantageous.
• (VERY DANGEROUS! Do Not Attempt Unless Your Life is in Danger!) If the bully has already pushed you into conflict and is really trying to hurt you (not just punches, but kicks to the face, or has a weapon) FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE. If you some how tip the odds in your favor, keep them there, use a nonfatal fight finisher, like breaking a bone. This sounds extreme, and it is. Therefore, it should only be used if you are in a serious fight. If you do this, and he goes down, RUN, end it with that. DO NOT LET THE SHIFT IN YOUR FAVOR GO TO YOUR HEAD, odds are he is down and out, and that fight is over.
  1. Definitely agree. Once the fight starts, never stop punching, kicking, or whatever else comes to mind, until the fight is officially over and you are out of there. You can rest, cry, shake or change your clothes later in private. If the guy is bigger, go for kicks to the knees, dodge his hands and arms. Keep moving so he can’t get you on the ground. If on the ground, bite, scratch, gouge, etc. like a rabid chipmunk fighting off a pit bull. Answering to the school principal or cops is better than spending months in intensive care!!

Warnings

• Report every crime when it is safe for you to do so, but understand that it is not easy to go through that process. Many police, parents, teachers, etc., believe that it is wrong to report crimes of children in a school setting. And you may have to listen to them. Be completely honest in reporting to adults. It is the best way to build trust with them.
• Understand self defense, but know its limits. It is protection from harm. Sometimes it is physical; sometimes it is running or evading a problem in other ways. Its purpose, when it is physical, is nothing more than to stop yourself from being physically hurt. Self-defense can sometimes incriminate you (make you seem like a criminal, which may require a judge to decide). You must decide whether or not to report the crime after you use self-defense.
• If you do report to an adult, be sure to report any self-defense that you used accurately, so that when they discover it later they will know that you are the law-abiding one rather than automatically thinking that you are a dishonest troublemaker.
• Most children consider it a form of self-defense to keep the crime or other abuse a secret. In some situations, it can be and should be carefully considered. However, more often secrecy is exactly the kind the bully prefers that you use.
• Keep in mind that somebody purposely touching you without your permission (or the permission of an adult who has true authority over you) may be a crime, even if the perpetrator is a child, and should be reported to an adult you trust unless it is so small that you give your permission after the act.
• If your parent (or another adult) is the bully, it is more complicated to report it because they have a lot of power over you. If it could be illegal touching (such as physical beating or sexual touching) then report it to an adult who you trust.
• Report emergencies such as very recent crimes that involve an immediate threat to health, life, or property when there has not yet been any competent adult intervention by calling 9-1-1 as quickly as possible. Report crimes with no current threat or when you can reach them faster than police, to a teacher, principal, nurse, counselor, your parents, and let one of them help you report it to police.
• Assert yourself with adults (and bullies) who think that children should be ignored, but realize that all adults are not supportive of children reporting crimes. Reporting makes you heard, and creates a paper trail that give evidence that you are law abiding citizen (and not a trouble maker). Will bullies not like this? Of course they will not like it. Do not give in to their psychological pressure. Reporting to authorities will eventually create a wall of support around you that is hard to beat.

Related wikiHows

• How to Deal With School Bullies
• How to Walk Away from a Fight
• How to Win a Street Fight
• How to Deal With a Threat
• How to Speak Confidently to Intimidating People

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